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Author Topic: Jokes  (Read 2618 times)

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spic0m

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Jokes
« on: June 08, 2008, 19:09:13 PM »
A mother is driving a little girl to her friend's house for a play date.
  "Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?"
  "Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother replied. "It's not polite."

  "OK", the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"
  "Now really," the mother says, "those are personal questions and are really none of your business."
  Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"
  "That is enough questions, young lady, honestly!"

  The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
  "My Mom won't tell me anything about her," the little girl says to her friend.
  "Well," says the friend, "all you need to do is look at her drivers license.  It is like a report card, it has everything on it."
  Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are,
you are 32."
  The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?
  "I also know that you weigh 140 pounds."
  The mother is past surprised and shocked now.
  "How in heaven's name did you find that out?"
  "And," the little girl says triumphantly," I know why you and daddy got a
divorce."   "Oh really?" the mother asks. "Why?"

  "Because you got an F in sex!"


Spaghetti

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, He paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for the child
support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife."Honey,"she said, "you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said. The wife
obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.
      On the card was written:
"Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Three with
meatballs, two without.   Send extra sauce."